DILDO REVIEWS
We get so many questions about the dildos (or "heavy duty tools" as I sometimes call them) slave p. and I use for stretching his ass - so I have decided to dedicate a page for reviews.
Read on and enjoy the show!
All the cheap stuff went in the trash, and we started filling our "toolbox" from scratch.
Our premium toys are expensive, but every single one of them are still in mint condition, so it's been worth every penny to choose only the best. By the way… you can learn more and get some good advice on buying dildos right here!
We do have more dildos then the ones listed below, but these are our all times favourites!
I must admit that slave p. is the real expert since he is the one getting penetrated with these monsters - and since I have never been on the receiving end of any of them. So I'll hand over the microphone to slave p. and let him telly you everything there is to know:
Listen up dildo-class and learn from a true expert: slave p.!
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Looking at the list below I suddenly realize that most of our favourite toys are from Mr. Hankey's Toys. But cum to think of it, it's not that strange after all, since we have kept cumming back to Mr. Hankey every time we have tried other manufactures. Mr. Hankeys dildos are just marvelous - and there is one for every mood and jolly occasion!
Click the links to have a closer look:
BOSS HOGG (XXL, medium firm)
DRAGON (XXXL, medium firm)
CENTAUR (XXL, medium firm)
TOPHER MICHELS (XXXL, medium firm)
SEAHORSE (XXL, medium firm)
SOLATOK (XXL, medium firm)
STUMP N' DUMP (one size, medium firm)
TAINTACLE (XXL, medium firm)
LAMPWICK UNCUT (XXL, medium firm)
HORNY RHINO (L, medium firm)
COCKADILE (XL 75% soft)
OGRE (XXL, medium firm)
XXXCALIBURE (XXL, 75% soft)
HANDYMAN BUTT PLUG (4XL, 75% soft)
GOLIATH (4XL, medium firm)
MIDAS TOUCH (XXL, 75% soft)
BEOWULF (XL, 75% soft)
DOG DILDO (XL, 75% soft)
LARGE SIZE STALLION (one size, medium firm)
THUNDERBIRDS - AURORA (one size, medium firm)
BOSS HOGG (XXL, medium firm)
But even though I have to push hard and use my entire weight to get it inside, it doesn't hurt; it provides a wonderful evenly distributed stretch.
It doesn't grind against the pelvic bones like harder toys tend to do - it's a very smooth and friendly toy!
We went for the medium firm, and it's soooooo nice. Soft enough to provide a gentle stretch when it slides inside - but still firm enough not to collapse completely, when I sit on it and use my weight. And a feature I really like is, that it can stand on it's own without falling over: this is a great feature for such a heavy toy!
Circumference near head: 9.5" (24.10 cm)
Circumference near middle: 13" (33.00 cm)
Circumference near base: 11.25" (28.60 cm)
Overall length: 14" (35.60 cm)
Insertable length: 13" (33.00 cm)
Get your own right here!
DRAGON (XXXL, medium firm)
I must be hones and admit, that I am still not able to take the dragon. DAMMIT! It's a little narrow towards the base, so when I really use my weight to force it inside, it gives in and bends. I would love to feel the widest part slide inside, but I was too optimistic when I chose the XXXL. The XXL would probably have made more sense, but I haven't given up - I'll keep stretching with the other toys, and some day I'll make it.
There is nothing bad to say about quality of the toy though - as our other toys from Mr. Hankey's Toys it's second to none, and the large relief feels wonderful!
Circumference near head: 11.25" (28.60 cm)
Circumference near middle: 12.75" (32.40 cm)
Circumference near base: 11" (28.00 cm)
Overall length: 15.75" (40.00 cm)
Insertable length: 14" (35.60 cm)
Get your own right here!
CENTAUR (XXL, medium firm)
The moment of penetration is really something, since it doesn't have a pointy head like most dildos. So when Miss M. pushes it inside me, she always pushes hard.
And when my sphincter gives in, it suddenly impales me. This always takes me by surprise, and I know that Miss M. loves just that about this toy.
Other features I really like are, that I can stand on it's own, and that it really widens near the base. When I take it all it stretches me deep inside, and at the same time it stretches my sphincter. The feeling is amazing!!!
Circumference near head: 8,75" (22.20 cm)
Circumference near middle: 9" (22.90 cm)
Circumference near preputial ring: 11" (28.00 cm)
Circumference near base: 12,75" (32.40 cm)
Overall length: 15,75" (40.00 cm)
Insertable length: 14,75" (37.50 cm)
Get your own right here!
TOPHER MICHELS (XXXL, medium firm)
T
This means that it's very stable to "mount"…. it doesn't move an inch… it just stays in position no matter how hard I sit on it. This is very important because of the girth: it's so FAT, that I have to use my entire weight to get it all the way inside!
The head is the first hurdle to overcome, and the feeling when it slides inside is mind-blowing. When the rest of it begins to slide in, the stretching really begins - but it's gradual and actually very pleasant.
The dildo has the perfect balance between soft and hard: soft enough not to hurt, and yet hard enough not to give in when I really work it. The slight bend shape of the dildo helps a lot, since it follows the bend of the intestine (unless you turn it the wrong way), and when I feel the balls against my butt, I'm absolutely FILLED! I love this huge toy!!
Circumference near head (rim): 10.5" (26.70 cm)
Circumference near middle: 12" (30.50 cm)
Circumference near base: 13.7" (34.80 cm)
Overall length: 13" (33.00 cm)
Insertable length: 10.25" (26.00 cm)
Get your own right here!
SEAHORSE (XXL, medium firm)
The softness makes it very pleasent to use, and the relief adds to the experience really making you feel it go in and out.
The length of the dildo and the widening towards the base does the same trick as the Centaur: it stretches deep inside and the sphincter at the same time. Wow - totally mindblowing!'
Circumference near head: 7.6" (19.30 cm)
Circumference near middle: 11.5" (29.20 cm)
Circumference near base: 13.1" (33.30 cm)
Overall length: 15.15" (38.50 cm)
Insertable length: 13.00" (33.00 cm)
Get your own right here!
SOLATOK (XXL, medium firm)
Just look at the shape; No pointy tip - just flat and fat! I had been wondering how the moment of penetration would feel. Now I know….. it was mind blowing - and it came as a complete surprise!
Because of the shape I really had to struggle, and I had just begun to doubt I would ever get it inside, when it suddenly penetrated me. It felt like my sphincter was being pushed along inside as well - until it opened without any warning. Wow!
The Solatok is soft and wonderful but it's hard enough to allow me to really use my weight. And a very important feature is it's balance: it stands and doesn't fall over. Perfect!
I am working hard to get the knot inside - and I know I'll make it. It's just a matter of keep hard work. I believe the Solatok has become one of my favorites!
Circumference near head: 11" (28.00 cm)
Circumference near middle: 12" (30.50 cm)
Circumference at knot: 15" (38.00 cm)
Circumference near base: 11.75" (30.00 cm)
Overall length: 12" (30.50 cm)
Insertable length: 10.88" (27.60 cm)
Get your own right here!
STUMP N' DUMP (One size, medium firm)
This dildo is cast directly from Mr. Hankey's arm - a rather fun feature - and it's a monster!
The tip is nice and friendly and rather easy to get inside. The dildo widens gradually from the tip towards the elbow giving a nice and pleasant stretch as more and more of the dildo disappears inside.
At the elbow the serious challenge begins. But much to my surprise I was able to get the widest part inside - and the feeling was marvelous! I felt the stretch deep inside at the same time as my sphincter was being stretched to the max. Wow! I wasn't able to get the last couple of cm inside, but I'm slowly getting there.
The balance is perfect! The dildo is able to stand on it's own and doesn't fall over like cheap dildos always do; When you're struggling to stretch, you don't need having to focus on pointing the dildo the right way. This dildo stands tall all the way.
As you may suspect from the size of it, it's not a beginner's toy. Or in fact it might be. The tip is rather pointy, and easy to get inside…. and the width is very gradually increasing towards the elbow. Don't expect to get very far if you are new to stretching your ass - but this toy may in fact be perfect if you are into stretching and just want one toy to work with. It will really do the trick and stretch you more and more for months and years as you keep on working it!
Circumference near elbow: 12.5" (31.75 cm)
Circumference near tip: 6.5" (16.50 cm)
Circumference at base: 12" (30.50 cm)
Overall length: 14.5" (37.00 cm)
Insertable length: 13.75" (35.00 cm)
Get your own right here!
TAINTACLE (XXL, medium firm)
The Taintacle has a very special look that makes you think of an octopus! It has a distinct S-shape that made me very curious! In the photo it's the dildo on the right (the one on the left is the Stump N' Dump)
Would I be able to get it all the way inside? And if I could …. what would it feel like?! I'll get back to that…
As usual I chose the medium firm to get the right balance between stability and softness which is so important when it comes to FAT dildos.
And just as important: it stands on it's own and doesn't fall over, so I can concentrate on the stretching and fucking. Perfect!
The S-shape feels amazing and has a perfect fit for anal use. It finds it's way inside without moving my entire inside around. And when the fat part at the base slipped inside I had a pleasant surprise: It pushed my prostate making me release cum. WOW!
I didn't think it would be possible to add yet another dildo to the ones I call my favorites, but this one made the grade. I can strongly recommend it for a fun way of stretching and for prostate stimulation!
Circumference near head: 4" (10.20 cm)
Circumference near middle: 10.50" (26.70 cm)
Circumference near base: 12.25" (31.10 cm)
Overall length: 15" (38.10 cm)
Insertable length: 14" (35.60 cm)
Get your own right here!
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LAMPWICK UNCUT (XXL, medium firm)
I had been looking for a long and fat straight dildo for deep stretching for a while, when I found the Lampwick Uncut. It's also available in a cut version, that looks more traditional. But I think the uncut one looked more exciting.
As usual when it comes to Mr. Hankey's dildos the quality is second to none. IT's made of platinum grade silicon. So no strange smells or chemicals. And the balance is perfect; the dildo can stand without falling over. The straight shape combined with the firm and yet soft material makes it perfect for deep stretching. So that's what I use it for, and I love it. 
The soft material give a nice sensation when it goes inside, and the lack of texture makes it possible to focus 100% on really feeling the deep stretch. I can strongly recommend it! The measurements are listed below (it's HUGE!) .
But despair not because it comes in all different sizes so you can easily find the one that suites YOUR needs!
Circumference near head: 9.50" (24.13 cm)
Circumference near middle: 9.90" (25.15 cm)
Circumference near base: 9.50" (24.13 cm)
Overall length: 16.75" (42.55 cm)
Insertable length: 13" (33.02 cm)
Get your own right here!
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HORNY RHINO (L, medium firm)
The Horny Rhino made me curious the minute I saw it because of the strange shape. Usually I buy very large dildos for stretching, but this one I chose to buy in a smaller size just for fun fucking.
The first knot goes inside pretty easily. Then the next large knot comes as the first knot is pushed through the second sphincter deeper inside. The feeling can best be described as INTENSE! And the size I bought makes it possible to get fucked a lot faster than it's possible with the larger dildos I have. It's amazing!!!
In other words the design is perfect! As usual when it's a dildo from Mr. Hankey the material is platinum grade silicon, so there are no strange odor's or toxic chemicals. And as usual the dildo can stand on his own without falling over. This dildo is the one I prefer for an intense non-stretching fucking. But when the size L is so perfect I am getting VERY curious about trying the XL!!!
The measurements are below:
Circumference near base: 10" (28.6 cm)
Circumference near first knot: 8.3" (21.08 cm)
Circumference near second knot: 9.9" (25.15 cm)
Overall length: 12.75" (32.39 cm)
Insertable length: 11.75" (29.85 cm)
Get your own right here!
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COCKADILE (XL, 75% soft)
The Cockadile is our first ever dildo that is 75% soft instead of medium firm - and it's amazing! The softer material makes the stretch very comfortable and it feels amazing. The shape makes it indeed look like a crocodile and it makes the penetration very easy. 
As usual with any dildo from Mr. Hankey´s the material is 100% platinum silicone making it non-toxic and body-safe. And another important feature is that it stands on it's own without falling over.
The measurements are below:
Circumference near base: 10.4" (26.42 cm)
Circumference near middle: 11" (27.94 cm)
Circumference near head: 8.5" (21.59 cm)
Overall length: 13.60" (34.54 cm)
Insertable length: 12.25" (31.12 cm)
Get your own right here!
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OGRE (XXL, medium firm)
The Ogre XXL is a MONSTER! But don't worry - it comes in different sizes so you can easily find one that suites you. 
Even though this is an extreme dildo it's not hard to get it in - the shape kind of opens you up. Once the tip is in the stretching begins! The Ogre gradually widens towards the base and gives you a wonderful stretch both deep and wide. Despite the brutal appearance it feels so good!
The Ogre holds the same high standards as all our dildos from Mr. Hankey: 100% platinum silicone making it non-toxic and body-safe. And you don't have to hold on to it to prevent it from falling over. The balance is perfect and it stands on it's own: YES!
The measurements are below:
Circumference near base: 14" (35.56 cm)
Circumference near middle: 12.60" (32 cm)
Circumference near head: 9.75" (24.77 cm)
Overall length: 12.15" (30.86 cm)
Insertable length: 11.15" (38.32 cm)
Get your own right here!
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XXXCALIBUR (XXL, 75% soft)
The XXXCalibur is a rather special dildo. It's kind of S-shaped and it's the only one of our dildos from Mr. Hankey's Toys having a little difficulty standing on its own. But for once this is not so important because it has other great features.
Of course it is made of 100% platinum silicone making it non-toxic and body-safe. But it's also perfect for deep stretching because of the softness, the length and the pointy tip. And this is not all. Because of those features and the smooth surface it has become a favorite for use on our fucking machines. It's not as brutal as many of our other monster dildos so it's suitable for long sessions without causing skin irritation.
The only "problem" is that this is the biggest size - because I am only a few cm from going balls deep :-)
The measurements are below:
Circumference near base: 9.6" (24.38 cm)
Circumference near middle: 10" (25.40 cm)
Circumference near head: 8.0" (20.32 cm)
Overall length: 17,20" (43.69 cm)
Insertable length: 13.30" (33.78 cm)
Get your own right here!
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HANDYMAN (4XL, 75% soft)
The Handyman Butt Plug is exactly what it looks like: a giant hand! And it's shaped like you would shape your own hand for fisting!
Obviously I have never been fisted with a hand this big but (apart from the massive stretch!) the feeling is very much like having a real hand inserted. First the tips of the fingers gently opening up and then the widening towards the knuckles - and the "OMG-feeling" then the widest part goes inside! 
Like all other dildos from Mr. Hanke's Toys it's made of 100% platinum silicone making it non-toxic and body-safe. And another wonderful feature is that it stands on its own. It can be a pain in the butt (!) if a dild keeps falling over when you are trying to sit on it.
This one is a MONSTER and even I had trouble getting it inside; but it comes in all sizes including one that fits you.
So if you want to try what it feels like having a real hand inserted this is the toy to go for - but she size for that experience is not the 4XL - go smaller! This is an amazing toy!!!
The measurements are below:
Circumference at wrist: 10.25" (26.04cm)
Circumference at knuckles: 14.10" (35.81. cm)
Circumference at finger knuckles: 9.3" (23.26 cm)
Overall length: 11.50" (29.21 cm)
Insertable length: 9.90" (25.15 cm)
Get your own right here!
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GOLIATH (4XL, medium firm)
The 4XL Goliath is an absolute monster. I have struggled for so long to get it in - and finally I made it. Less experienced anal enthusiasts should probably go for one of the smaller sizes. But I have always been fascinated by this extreme dildo and had to try it! 
It is extremely heavy and the base is wide which means good stability. So it stands and keep standing no matter what. This is very important because I have to use all my body weight and sit on it to get it in. Miss M. can't get it inside me - it is only for sitting on.
But once the head pops in it's an endorphin rush! The stretch is totally amazing, and I am slowly working my way down this mighty cock. I don't know if I ever will get it all inside - but just having the upper part of it inside me is totally mind blowing. And after riding this monster I am so open and stretched!
Like all the other dildos from Mr. Hankey's Toys it's made of 100% platinum silicone making it non-toxic and body-safe.
If you are into stretching this is the tool for you. But you may need a smaller size than the 4XL.
The measurements are below:
Circumference near balls: 15.87" (40.34 cm)
Circumference near middle: 15.25" (38.74 cm)
Circumference directly below head: 12.75" (32.39 cm)
Circumference around thickest part of head: 12.25" (31.12 cm)
Circumference near tip of head: 8" (20.32 cm)
Overall length: 14.25" (36.20 cm)
Insertable length: 12" (30.48 cm)
Get your own right here!
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MIDAS TOUCH (XXL, 75% soft)
The Midas touch is an absolute favourite! The look of a giant finger so much fun - and everything about it is great! First of all I am glad I have chosen the 75% soft edition because it's a long dildo! This means that it accommodates to the inside when it goes in and not the other way around - meaning it feels good!
It's not completely straight and it bends a little. This feels amazing as it slides in and the widening at the base is also great - turning this dildo into a double stretching toy: stretching deep and wide at the same time!
And being from Mr. Hankey's Toys this dildo stands on its own despite being so long. The balance is perfect making it so much easier to use and it's made of 100% platinum silicone. This on is a perfect 10 out of 10! But now I am finally able to take it all I would love for Mr. Hankey to make an XXXL edition!
Please note that it also comes in smaller size - including a size that fits YOU!
The measurements are below:
Circumference near base: 10.90" (27.69 cm)
Circumference near middle: 9.30" (23.62 cm)
Circumference near head: 7.50" (19.05 cm)
Overall length: 15.13" (38.43 cm)
Insertable length: 13.90" (35.31 cm)
Get your own right here!
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BEOWULF (XL, 75% soft)
The Beowulf has a gentle "plug feature" I love: it is slightly wider near the base so when it goes in it really goes in! And while some dildos are quite brutal when the last part pops inside this one is not. It feels great!
The pointy tip makes sure that the initial penetration is gentle and it provides an increasing stretch as it goes further inside. As usual the balance is perfect so it's not necessary to hold on to it - I really like this! The 75% softness is firm enough and it makes it feel amazing even when it's all the way inside.
This dildo is absolutely great for warming up for the more brutal dildos and yet another favourite of mine - and it's made of 100% platinum silicone!
Please note that it also comes in smaller size - including a size that fits YOU!
The measurements are below:
Circumference near base: 9.75" (24.77 cm)
Circumference near middle: 9.00" (22.86 cm)
Circumference near head: 6.50" (16.51 cm)
Circumference at the knot: 12.00" (30.48 cm)
Overall length: 14.50" (38.83 cm)
Insertable length: 13.00" (33.02 cm)
Get your own right here!
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DOG DILDO (XL, 75% soft)
This one is very special because of the very large and brutal knot. Where the Beowulf had something similar but in a "gentle" and more smooth way this one can be brutal for the untrained ass because of the shape of the knot - unless you choose one of the smaller sizes! 
I always struggle to get the knot inside. And when it goes inside it REALLY goes inside (BANG!). When the movement begins there's no turning back. It's just …. WOW!
It has a pointy tip making the initial penetration easy and just like all other dildos from Mr. Hankey the balance is perfect so it doesn't fall over. And of course it's made of body safe and non toxic 100% platinum silicone. The 75% softness is perfect for me when it comes to monster dildos.
Yet another dildo I can not live without now that I have tried it!!!
Please note that it also comes in smaller size - including a size that fits YOU!
The measurements are below:
Circumference near base: 11.25" (28.58 cm)
Circumference near middle: 9.25" (23.50cm)
Circumference near head: 6.60" (16.76 cm)
Circumference at the knot: 12.25" (31.25 cm)
Overall length: 13.50" (34.29 cm)
Insertable length: 12.10" (31.12 cm)
Get your own right here!
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LARGE SIZE STALLION (one size, medium firm)
I already have a horse dildo and I love it. But this one caught my eye because of the size. My other horse dildo is a huge monster perfect for stretching. This one is still big but not huge, so I thought it would be good for rough fucking. And I was right! But I am very stretched, and for others this might be perfect for stretching.
The top of the dildo gives a very nice sensation when it enters and as it goes deeper. And then the ridge on the cock and the fat part enters. It feels so good!
It has two important features. It’s made from platinum grade silicon, and it can stand on it’s own without falling over. Perfect!
I can recommend it as a fuck toy for the experienced anal player and as a stretching tool for the beginner!
The measurements are below:
Total length: 11.26" (28.6 cm)
Insertable length: 10" (25.4 cm)
Diameter of head: 1.97" (5 cm)
Diameter of mid shaft: 2.75 (7 cm)
Diameter of lower shaft: 3.26 (8.3 cm)
Get your own right here!
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Thunderbirds - Aurora (one size, medium firm)
This has to be the smallest dildo in my collection! I picked it because of the fun shape; it looks like a mountain. It’s no challenge for me and I don’t have to warm up or be careful, but it’s a great beginners toy. 
The shape is perfect for a gentle stretch, and the texture gives a great feeling as you work your way down. It’s made from platinum grade silicone and stands on it’s own. So you can put it on a chair and have a seat when you work from home or if you have just started stretching and want a gentle stretch.
When you start stretching this is the toy to get.
The measurements are below:
Total length: 7.48" (19 cm)
Insertable length: 6.89" (17.5cm)
Diameter of head: 1.38" (3.5 cm)
Diameter of mid shaft: 2.17" (5.5 cm)
Diameter of lower shaft: 2.95" (7.5 cm)
Get your own right here!
Those were the words from slave p. - now go get your own dildo right here: Mr. Hankey's Toys or Bigshocked. And remember: they come in all sizes; including a size that fits YOU!
Miss M.
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